


Ineffable AF

by twoseas



Series: Worth the Trouble [1]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, Angel Harry Hart, Canon-Typical Content, Demon Eggsy Unwin, EVEN AS A DEMON, Eggsy Unwin is sweet and soft, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Pining, an angel gets a wet dream, every time a naked eggsy sings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 12:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoseas/pseuds/twoseas
Summary: Harry and Eggsy were two angels of the same choir, assigned to the protection of God's creations. "Were" being the operative word.Featuring an obliviously smitten angel, a kindhearted demon, an estrangement that spanned the bulk of human history, and the rather irregular development of angelic sexuality.





	1. The Eastern Gate

**Author's Note:**

> I've been reading A LOT of Harry/Eggsy lately (FX replays Kingsman a lot and I'm into it) and as a fan of Good Omens, I've been really hyped up by all the recent promotional stuff for the show. And thus this unholy fusion has been let loose upon the Earth!

Though the job was somewhat less exciting than Harry was used to, he found great joy in adhering to his duty. The humans and the other living things within the Garden were God’s latest creations and Harry was honored to be trusted with their keeping. Moreover, he and the other Knights had a rotating guard and the mundanity of standing at the gate only lasted for so long before another Knight came to free him from the watch. 

Using the time to think of new training programs to test Eggsy and expand on his already admirable abilities, Harry smiled as the angel in question glided down to his side. 

“Eggsy,” Harry greeted and immediately noticed there was something wrong with his recruit. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” Eggsy dismissed, trying his best to smile. “Just thought I’d see what you been up to.”

He looked anxious and Harry attributed the concern to the strengthening of Lucifer’s forces. More and more angels were defecting, the Fall taking more from their ranks than they expected. Luckily their choir had yet to be affected, but they were a small legion and to have so many other angels fall was disconcerting to say the least. 

While it wasn’t unusual for Eggsy to fly down to Earth to visit Harry during one of his guard shifts, it was strange for him to be so quiet and fidgety. But Harry knew pushing Eggsy before he was ready would do more harm than good and he waited the younger angel out. 

“Harry,” Eggsy finally spoke, voice uncharacteristically hesitant. “Mind if I ask you something?”

“Of course, Eggsy,” Harry welcomed gladly, always happy and proud to be of some use to Eggsy. 

“Is there anything else you wanna do?” Eggsy asked. “You know, other than be a Knight.”

“No, not at all,” Harry told him at once. “It’s my duty and I take it very seriously. You know that.”

“I know,” Eggsy continued carefully, “but you can do your duty and do other stuff, yeah? Only now that God’s gone and made the humans and all this new stuff, it kinda seems like They’re loosening up. You know, giving us chances at doing a bit more. After Lucifer and all them left, you’d think They’d be all about keeping us in. But doesn’t it seem kinda the opposite?”

“That’s quite an interesting interpretation you have for Their current behavior,” Harry granted. “And I suppose that’s alright for some. I’m not that sort of angel though. I know my place. If I were meant to do other things, God would never have assigned me my station. I’ve no desire to pursue other interests.”

Voice small, Eggsy brought up, “Not even during a bit of free time? When They didn’t have you doing anything important?”

“Free time?” Harry chuckled. “If I’m not guarding the gate, I’m training with the Knights. And if I’m not training, I’m thinking about training. Some of the Fallen have been quite brazen as well and it’s my solemn responsibility to ensure they never get through to hurt one of ours or tempt another angel away. Everything I do, everyone I spent time on, every action of my being all comes back to my duty. God’s ineffable plan may very well rely on my unfaltering service and I couldn’t possibly give it up. Not even for a bit of free time,” Harry ended with a slight hint of humor. Eggsy always seemed to enjoy it when Harry teased and joked. 

Eggsy, however, didn’t laugh or nudge Harry with his elbow as he sometimes did. Instead he looked out over the far more barren land that surrounded the Garden. “I get it, Harry. Nothing left of you for anything not duty.”

Harry hummed his assent. 

“I get it,” Eggsy repeated. He walked away, wings outstretched in preparation to fly. He smiled at Harry, but it seemed wrong somehow. Different from how he normally smiled. “Thanks for everything, Harry. And I’m sorry.”

Eggsy took off, leaving a feeling of foreboding in his wake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prayers for the oblivious angel


	2. At the End of Eden

Harry watched the two humans leave, hands linked together and wariness and worry etched on their faces. A large serpent slithered up to his side, its shining gold and black scales glinting with every undulation of its long, curving body. Distracted by the new arrival, Harry missed the way Eve squeezed Adam’s hand, a hopeful look crossing his face at the affectionate, supportive gesture. 

Looking down at the serpent with a carefully neutral expression, Harry held in a deep sigh. Or perhaps a ragged scream. “Why did you do it, Eggsy?”

If a serpent could shrug, Eggsy just did. 

Anger rose, coloring Harry’s once even tone. “You tempted her and all you have to explain yourself is a dismissive shrug? You manipulated her into breaking the Lord’s command.”

“It weren’t all that hard, Harry.” Eggsy sounded almost apologetic. Almost. “She wanted to. So did he. You never saw cuz you were too busy guarding the gate, but she used to walk around the walls. She’d climb trees and hop on rocks trying to get a peek at what was over them. Once she got on his shoulders, wobbling around all for a little look. She wanted out and I just gave her the push.”

“You got her, her mate, and their unborn child cast out of paradise,” Harry accused with a cold sort of fury. 

A spitting hiss escaped the serpent’s mouth, sounding eerily similar to Eggsy’s old scoff. “Ain’t no paradise, Harry. It’s a prison.”

“They had everything they needed. The Garden is not a prison,” Harry contradicted. “They were warm and fed and comfortable. They were living as they were meant.”

“If it isn’t a prison, why’s there guards at every gate? Walls surrounding the whole place, so high you can’t get a look at what’s on the other side?” Eggsy challenged, rising up to face Harry with a contrary baring of his fangs. “They couldn’t be happy in there, Harry.”

“They were happy and they were good. They were doing perfectly well until you corrupted them!”

“No, they weren’t!” Eggsy shouted. “They weren’t good because they didn’t even know what good was! They didn’t know how to be good or how to be bad. They were ignorant and that’s entirely different.”

“You lured them away from God’s plan!”

Eggsy coiled in a tight, defensive shape. “God’s plan? Please, don’t tell me you’ve become as puffed up and condescending as the rest of ‘em, Harry. How arrogant can you get to think you know anything about Their plan? Who are you to say this weren’t a part of it? God didn’t tell them nothing except not to eat the fruit from the Tree. That’s it. And what’s the first thing someone’s gonna want to do when told specifically not to do something? What did I do when you or one of the other higher ups told me specifically not to do something?”

Harry’s temper flared, his grief and rage at Eggsy’s choices burning through his carefully cultivated composure. The sword in Harry’s hand blazed, the holy fire bright and unrelenting. 

“You did them and look where that got you, Eggsy!” Harry snarled. “Slithering on the ground and banned from Up Above with the rest of the Fallen. You had so much potential. You were going to be the best of us, the brightest among our choir. You were to lead the Knights at my side! But instead you ignored orders, abandoned duty, and committed acts beneath you and everything I expected of you. You disappoint me, Eggsy.”

Turning his back on the now grievously silent serpent, Harry marched away and willed himself Up Above, his flaming sword a beacon of his fury. 

 

Eggsy watched him go, his corporeal form shimmering until he stood on two feet, his magnificent wings drooping dejectedly behind him. He looked every bit the angel he used to be with one single exception - his eyes, though the same multifaceted green they always were, now had vertical slits for pupils. Nevertheless, they were still very capable of producing tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy: Oi! Eve! You want a bite outta this fruit?  
> Eve: We're not supposed to.  
> Eggsy: Ok, but counterpoint - fuck that.  
> Eve, already with a mouthful of Knowledge Fruit: You're absolutely right.


	3. 1920

Harry had grown rather fond of the Earth and its occupants. They proved a tenacious, innovative sort and Harry couldn’t help but marvel at the things they created. At what they were capable of achieving. Despite their capacity for great evil and cruelty, there was so much good and interesting and wonderful about them. Harry had learned over the ages to appreciate the good and do his best to alleviate the bad. His days of flaming sword swinging and righteous fury weren’t exactly behind him, but he now also looked forward to the smaller things the Earth had to offer. 

Inclined to enjoy a nice beer, Harry strode into the Black Prince. Though he had more or less settled into a nicer, more economically sound London neighborhood with far more lavish watering holes, Harry knew many surviving soldiers of the Great War came to this particular pub to drink their sorrows away. Not only did Harry plan to enjoy a beer, he also thought to use his time and some minor miracles to ease the hearts and minds of some of those men. 

The pub was crowded, but it wasn’t quite late enough to be rowdy. Harry had no trouble striding to the bar and just as he opened his mouth to request his drink, a loud, boisterous laugh sounded above the ambient noise. 

Freezing in place, Harry tried to quell the sudden spike of pain and desperate hope that surged through him. He knew that laugh. He hadn’t heard it in what felt like eons, but he knew it. How could he ever forget it?

Turning slowly on his heel, Harry stared unblinkingly at the sight that greeted him. 

He looked the same - or nearly. He was dressed in the popular clothing of the time and area but without a jacket. His hair was cut like the other men, but unstyled so that a slight fringe of dark blond hair fell over his forehead. His eyes were narrowed from his laughter, his beaming grin showing off cherubic dimples while his tipped back head displayed the sharp cut of his jawline. 

Laughter trailing off, Eggsy turned his head and caught sight of Harry, all appearance of joy transformed into a stunned sort of horror. His eyes were wide and their pupils were round, dilating in what must’ve been fear. In the next moment he was standing from his seat and sliding out and away with a hurried, unheard explanation for his tablemates. 

Spurred by Eggsy’s sudden departure, Harry chased after him. The former angel hurled himself through the backdoor of the pub at a speed Harry could just barely keep up with. Without looking back, Eggsy tore down the street, narrowly dodging humans and obstacles. Just as Harry thought he had caught up, Eggsy kicked against a wall and used a stack of crates to boost himself over a low wall. From there Eggsy traversed fences and leapt from balconies, steadily gaining height over Harry until his figure disappeared on a rooftop. 

Miracling away any unwanted attention, Harry spread his wings out wide and flew to where he last spotted Eggsy. 

At the opposite end of the rooftop, Eggsy stood on the ledge, his wings popping out from his shoulder blades and flapping in preparation for takeoff. 

“Eggsy, wait!”

Surprisingly, against all expectations, Eggsy did. 

He backed away from the ledge and turned slowly, his green eyes now showcasing vertical pupils. His shoulders slumped, a resigned expression overtaking his features, and his wings folded and disappeared. His vertical pupils turned to round and once more he looked practically human. 

“I didn’t do anything,” Eggsy told him, tone low and melancholy and achingly familiar. “Just take a look around and you’ll see. I haven’t caused a bit of trouble.”

Harry folded his own wings in and took several hurried steps forward, stopping only when Eggsy flinched away as if he expected Harry to smite him right then and there. A painful sensation filled Harry’s chest, the thought too awful to bear repeating. He stared at Eggsy, taking in everything about him. 

Harry must have been silent for too long, Eggsy shifting uncomfortably under the wordless scrutiny of the angel. 

“Harry?”

And that did it. No one said Harry’s name the same way Eggsy did. No one ever had. And Harry had not heard it in such a long time. 

Closing the remaining space between them, Harry pulled Eggsy into a hug, his arms wrapping Eggsy in a tight, all encompassing embrace. Eggsy was short enough that Harry could put his chin atop his head. Harry lifted a hand to cup the back of Eggsy’s head and comb his fingers through the short, silky strands of dark blond. His other hand stayed at Eggy’s back, keeping him tucked against Harry. 

Eggsy remained stiff, his arms sticking out from the side like he didn’t know what to do with them. When he spoke, his unsure voice was muffled by Harry’s chest. “Harry?”

“I’ve missed you so much,” Harry breathed. He closed his eyes and moved his head so he could speak against Eggsy’s temple. “So much, Eggsy.”

A choked off sob escaped Eggsy and suddenly he was shuddering under Harry’s arms. He pushed his face against Harry’s chest and his arms came around, returning the hug with strong, if shaky arms. 

“I missed you too, Harry,” Eggsy mumbled emphatically against Harry as he nuzzled him. “More than you’d ever know.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Harry laughed airily, eyes stinging. “I might have some idea.”

They stayed like that for some time, neither willing to break the nearly tangible sense of relief and gratitude and rightness that surrounded them and composed their embrace. 

Eggsy was the first to pull away, though Harry could tell he did it reluctantly. He turned his face away in an attempt to conceal his tears, his hand hastily swiping at his cheeks and eyes. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sounds came out.

Harry didn’t take his eyes off Eggsy as he chose to break the silence himself. “Would you like to get dinner with me, Eggsy?”

Eggsy met his gaze with a beaming grin and shining eyes as he nodded his agreement.

 

Harry took Eggsy to his favorite restaurant and enjoyed the appreciative looks Eggsy cast around the room. They were seated and had their orders taken in a timely manner, leaving them to sip at their wine and stare. 

“I’m so happy to finally see you again,” Harry said as he set his glass to the side. “I’ll admit, I rather despaired at ever getting the opportunity. Have you not been on Earth?”

Cringing, Eggsy shook his head and took a large gulp of wine. “Nah, I’ve been here. And I, uh, I’ve kinda been avoiding you.”

Harry didn’t let the plummeting sensation within him show in his expression, though he furrowed his brow.

Eggsy’s eyes drifted away from Harry, boring holes in the far corner of the restaurant as he continued. “I, um, sort of still keep in contact with Rox. She would tell me where you were or where she supposed you’d be and I kinda just made sure...not to be there.”

“Roxanne?” Harry’s eyebrows rose up as an unpleasant feeling swirled in his gut. “She never mentioned.”

“I told her not to,” Eggsy muttered to a piece of buttered bread. “We tried to meet up every couple of decades if we could, but now that we’ve both settled ‘round London, we meet every other week or so. She mentioned that you and Merlin and most of the other Knights had settled around the area too, doing your own thing. I didn’t want to get in the way, I guess. Go where I wasn’t welcome and bring up bad memories.”

“Eggsy,” Harry whispered. Whatever else he might have said was interrupted as the waiter brought their food. 

Eggsy continued to look uncertain of his welcome and it upset Harry more than words could express. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry told him, eyes pleading his earnestness. “I never should have made you feel like that. I was angry and I lashed out at you.”

“S’okay,” Eggsy shrugged and picked up his fork. He played with the food on the plate. “I mean, I am a demon. And you’re still an angel.”

“That doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you,” Harry told him firmly as he speared a bite of beef with a little too much force. 

Eggsy’s gaze snapped up to Harry’s at once, something vulnerable and fragile in his expression. “It’s really alright, Harry.”

“You’re too forgiving, my dear,” Harry sighed. “Please. I realize now how harsh I was with you and I must admit...you were right in some ways. I was too angry at losing you from Up Above to admit to it then.”

Attentive and silent, Eggsy’s attention encouraged Harry to continue even as he took a bite of his own meal. 

“You were right about angels and our arrogance in assuming we knew God’s plan simply because of the bare orders we were given.” Harry smiled at Eggsy, a faintly lopsided upturn to his mouth. “Furthermore, you might have been right about encouraging Eve.”

Mouth agape, Eggsy took a moment to recover. He shook his head and scoffed, “Fuck off.”

Smirking at the language, Harry took another sip of wine. “I’ve seen what leaving the Garden has done for the humans. They never could have done it behind those walls. Perhaps you were right and it’s a part of Their plan. Perhaps not. I can’t say and it was foolish of me to ever think I could decipher Their will.”

Studying Harry with intense focus, Eggsy absently ate while coming to some sort of conclusion. His disbelieving smile turned into a smug grin. “You like it here!”

Harry rolled his eyes as Eggsy crowed in triumph. “I do,” he confirmed easily. 

“It’s fucking great, isn’t it?” Eggsy’s eyes lit up, his entire being animated by the topic. “And the humans are so wild. I love seeing what they get up to.”

“And tempting them to sin?” Harry asked with enough of a teasing manner and tone that Eggsy would pick up on the joking nature of the question. 

“Nah, I don’t go in on that,” Eggsy told him with a laugh and a dismissive shake of his head. “No quotas to meet or nothing. I actually got a pretty sweet deal.”

“Do go on,” Harry encouraged. “Tell me everything.”

Grabbing the bottle of wine, Eggsy refilled Harry’s near empty glass before helping himself to another. “Lucifer kinda remembered me from Up Above I guess and he knew I wasn’t really cut out for some of the other shit the Fallen got up to once they left. But he was real impressed when I got Eve to take a bite. Since I’m on the books as responsible for Original Sin, I don’t gotta report back to anyone Down Below cuz every sin technically comes back to that first one. It’s kinda super fucking flawed logic, but Lucifer marked me down as having done more for him than any other demon. Every once in a century, give or take a decade, Lucifer’ll send me a question about the humans - what’re they up to, what do they like, stuff like that. I send back a quick answer and that’s that. Rest of the time I get to hang out here without a hint of hassle by the others. I haven’t even been summoned Down Below since the End of Eden.”

Eggsy’s explanation had Harry’s eyebrows arched towards his hairline. “Really? You’ve been on Earth this entire time?”

“Yup!” Eggsy tilted his head and grinned. “I’m betting you went Up Above your fair share until you, Merlin, Rox, and the rest decided on a base camp down here.”

“You would be correct,” Harry nodded once. The waiter came to take their plates and the two of them ordered dessert, neither seeming at all interested in leaving just yet. “Earth has certainly become interesting enough to warrant an extended stay.”

“Harry, it’s always been that interesting,” Eggsy chided. “It’s fucking insane here. The shit the humans come up with! Music, clothes, art, the food!”

Their dessert arrived right on time for Eggsy to wave at the cakes as a physical example of what he was talking about. 

“Look at this!” Eggsy took a bite and spoke through his forkful of cake (he only grinned dopily at Harry’s scolding expression). “Humans do the best stuff, I swear. Dancing! You seen how many types of dancing they’ve invented?! Books. Like the stories they come up with, how do they imagine all that? Some humans hang out at the park and just feed ducks. The ducks ain’t even starving or anything and they don’t do nothing for the humans in return. The humans just like feeding them. Who was even the first person to do that?! Don’t even get me started on the cute shit, Harry. The baby ones are cute as fuck. You ever hear a kid try to pronounce something? And the dogs! Little ones, big ones, smart bastards, dumb bastards. I love dogs.”

Harry listened to Eggsy expound on all the fascinating virtues of the Earth and its inhabitants, his enthusiasm so catching that Harry would have listened to him go on all night if the restaurant hadn’t needed to close. 

They left, the last patrons to do so, and Eggsy lost some of his excitement. Instead he looked at Harry with hope in his eyes, his hands tucked into his pockets. 

Recognizing his uncertainty, Harry smiled and offered, “I had a wonderful time catching up with you, Eggsy. I feel there’s so much more for us to discuss. Would you like to meet up again? I understand you have a standing appointment with Roxanne. Perhaps you might indulge me as well? Dinner, once a week?”

Eggy’s insecurity melted away into a radiant joy. “Yes, Harry! And I can show you that place I told you about, the one with all the weird plants!”

As Harry dipped his head and smiled in agreement, he felt as if he were soaring despite his wings being firmly hidden away. “It would be my pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me Taron Egerton in period clothing or give me death


	4. Modern Day

Harry hated to leave the place he now considered home, but occasionally something serious enough to warrant an angel of Harry’s caliber came up and there was no avoiding it. So when a powerful young demon actively aided a human man’s attempts to cull much of the world’s population, Harry had to go. Fortunately, he could entrust his house and everything within it to Eggsy. In exchange for the favor, the former angel extracted Harry’s promise to return safely. 

Harry didn’t really expect the whole messy affair to take over a year. But at the end of it all, the demon was at least discorporated (only time would tell if she had been properly smote) and the man was taken care of by more human authorities. 

As Harry engaged in the very human tradition of unlocking his door and taking his shoes off in the entryway, a sense of belonging settled over him like a warm, comfortable blanket. He didn’t like being away from the place he found most familiar or from the being who made everything that much more delightful. 

Harry looked around his house and saw that nearly everything was as he remembered it though Eggsy had left plenty of signs of his residence. Winged trainers lined up by Harry’s well cared for Oxfords. A gaudy black and gold hoodie next to Harry’s fine wool coat. A navy blue snapback on the hatrack. A packet of unopened crisps on the table by the couch. Harry cherished deeply the little things that showed Eggsy was at home with Harry and comfortable in Harry’s space. He was pleased that in the near century since their reunion they had only grown closer and more familiar. It was almost like it had been Up Above only infinitely better. There were no wars to worry over, Harry had no orders to give, and they could enjoy all the things Earth had to offer without guilt or interruption. 

Smiling at the thought of seeing Eggsy again, Harry climbed up the stairs in search of the one he missed so much. Even if Harry had been gone just a year, it was a year too long. It was almost no time at all compared to their previous estrangement and yet to Harry the year still felt interminable. 

Muffled singing came from the hall’s bathroom only to be made loud and clear as the door was thrown open, a large cloud of steam escaping along with the beautifully warbled tune. 

Out stepped Eggsy, singing proudly as he toweled off his hair. 

Harry made to greet him, but all words died on his lips as his eyes zeroed in on the naked space below Eggsy’s waist. 

It was only a moment more before Eggsy caught sight of Harry and screamed, throwing the towel at Harry in some sort of half formed attempt at shooing him away. 

Harry continued to stare, transfixed. 

“Harry!” Eggsy squeaked and made to cover himself with his hands. 

“Eggsy.” Though Harry’s tone was even, he was still essentially gawking at Eggsy’s hands and what they concealed. 

“Stop looking at it!” Eggsy screeched. Then, coming to his senses, Eggsy popped his wings out and folded them across his front in a feathery shield as he used a bit of power to conjure up his pajamas. A short moment passed and when his wings were once more put away, Eggsy stood fully clothed. 

Eggsy did not meet Harry’s eyes. His face was red, his features twisted in abject mortification. 

“So-” Voice coming out strained, Harry cleared his throat and tried again. “Who’s the lucky being?”

“What?” Eggsy’s embarrassment was replaced by genuine confusion, his eyebrows coming together and forehead wrinkling. 

Harry straightened his pristine suit for something to do with his hands. “Come now, Eggsy. I know I’m not nearly so...worldly as you. I’ve not spent as much time here as you have. But we both know that with angels, even fallen ones, that-” Harry cleared his throat again, “-sort of thing only happens when one puts in the effort.”

Eggsy closed his eyes, his expression tight. “Harry.”

“I mean,” Harry rambled on rather rudely, “I know we had a rough patch after the Garden, but we’ve gotten along famously since then. We practically live together! I would hope you know that you could have told me there was someone...committed to you.”

“Harry,” Eggsy snapped, eyes still shut. “There is no someone committed to me.”

The pain in the core of Harry’s being loosened only to bounce back with renewed vigor. “Ah, I see. I suppose your fondness for Earth and all its pleasures is hardly a secret. I hadn’t realized it extended to a more carnal experience, forgive me. That was my mistake and I-”

“ _ Harry _ ,” Eggsy bit out, eyes open and burning with something that was more than anger. “I don’t fuck humans. This happened before.”

Eggsy’s teeth clicked as his jaw clamped shut and the former angel looked as if he’d said more than he meant. 

“Before?” Harry frowned. “Before what?”

“Before I fell,” Eggsy admitted with a forced kind of casualness. 

Eyes widening as an unpleasant sensation broke Harry’s carefully cultivated manners, Harry blurted out, “You became like this with another angel?”

“Harry, I-” Eggsy groaned into his palms. He looked up, eyes darting over Harry’s face and away, his entire body now radiating with a frenetic energy. “Listen up, alright, because I don’t want to say any more about this, yeah?”

Harry nodded obediently. 

“I got like this before I fell,” Eggsy rushed out, hand tapping a nervous rhythm on his thigh. “I didn’t try, I didn’t put any effort in. One day I was sexless and the next...lot less sexless.”

Harry stared, not fully comprehending the unheard of situation. “Eggsy, that’s not possible.”

“Well clearly it is because it happened to me.” Eggsy’s jaw clenched and jutted out defiantly. “Ok?”

Seeing that one wrong word could cause a great deal of trouble, Harry nodded. 

“Ok,” Eggsy breathed. “Now, I’m gonna go to your favorite restaurant down the street, grab some food, come back, and we’ll talk about what you’ve been doing while we stuff our faces. You’ll forget everything you saw and we’ll pretend this conversation never happened, yeah? Good.”

Not waiting for a response, Eggsy hurried past Harry and did exactly as he said. 

Harry, for his own part, did his best to play along with Eggsy’s demands. He tried not to think of it. He tried to act as if he saw nothing. In all truth, there was little else that occupied his mind. 

When the food was finished and Harry’s story told, Eggsy left for his own flat just a few streets away. Harry tried not to be too upset. Eggsy may have been essentially living at Harry’s, but he kept his own space and his own things. His being mostly over at Harry’s for the last few decades hardly meant he was willing to give up the things he collected and the property he maintained for himself. Nonetheless, Harry saw him to the door with a heavy weight in his chest. The only thing that helped was watching Eggsy until he fully disappeared from sight and even that was a poor fix. 

Though Harry had little need for sleep in general, he had gotten rather fond of what the humans called a lie in and after the year he had he thought he deserved it. So rather than picking up a book or finding something to watch, Harry changed into his favorite pajamas and slid into bed. As he let himself drift into sleep, he thought of Eggsy singing bright and happy, at ease in Harry’s home. He thought of the peaceful joy of his soft smiles and the manic delight of his grins. His exuberant laugh. How he knew Harry’s favorite food and always got extra just in case. And just as Harry slipped into unconsciousness, he thought of Eggsy’s naked form, damp and flushed and fresh from the shower. 

 

At exactly 4:37 am, Harry slowly awoke to an odd sensation. It wasn’t unpleasant, but unsettling. He felt overheated and full of a coiling sort of anticipation in his gut. His body trembled with an unsatisfied need, muscles tensing in a final aborted thrust of his hips. A final, nearly-satisfying-but-not-quite surge of feeling rushed over him only to be overtaken by an unfamiliar sense of sticky wetness.

Shooting straight up and staring down at his lap, Harry gawked at what he found there. 

Harry swore, eyes narrowed at his offending new member. “Great big buggering fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I definitely built this entire fic around the premise of Angel!Harry being so unconsciously in love and lust with Eggsy that he spontaneously miracled a dick onto his body during a wet dream.


	5. Two Weeks Later

Harry allowed himself to feverishly research the phenomenon for a solid fortnight. Around the time of the First World War, the Knights decided their mission to protect the Earth and its humans from the legions of Down Below would be aided by the establishment of a base of operations. And so they took over a lovely country manor just outside the London area, a place that was fully fortified with protections both human and angelic. It also housed a well stocked library filled with records on angelic and demonic beings, the supernatural, prophecy, and the like. 

Carefully avoiding the notice of his fellow angels (especially Merlin and Roxanne), Harry scoured through the tomes, scrolls, and tablets in search of anything he could learn about the spontaneous appearance of sexual organs in angels. 

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a single recorded case. Which left Harry with one lone source of information. 

Harry mulled over the pros and cons of bringing the subject up during one of his and Eggsy’s movie nights. As they watched My Fair Lady again, Eggsy mouthing out certain lines and giggling to himself, Harry decided the need to know outweighed the fear of awkwardness. 

“Eggsy,” Harry began calmly. “May I ask you something?”

“Course, Harry,” Eggsy nodded gamely, smiling lightly at the television screen. 

Unable to bear the thought of upsetting Eggsy more than need be, Harry warned, “You may find this question uncomfortable, but it really is important.”

That grabbed Eggsy’s attention, wariness filling his verdant eyes. “How uncomfortable?”

“Very,” Harry admitted. “Enough that I would never ask if it wasn’t of urgent importance.”

“Ok,” Eggsy slowly agreed. “What d’you want to know, Harry?”

Taking in a deep breath, Harry plunged right in. “Do you know why you have a penis?”

Choking on air, Eggsy sputtered until he was red faced and coughing. “What the fuck, Harry!?”

“I did say it would be uncomfortable,” Harry told him dolefully. 

Eggsy side-eyed Harry, lips thinned. “This is actually important? You’re not taking the piss?”

“I would never,” Harry swore. “Not about something as personal and private to you as this.”

“Right,” Eggsy mumbled. “Alright. Yeah, I kinda figured out why it happened.”

“Can you tell me everything you know, every last bit of information you’re willing to share?” Harry asked gently, knowing this was something that Eggsy had no desire to speak aloud. At Eggsy’s visible signs of discomfort, Harry almost felt like calling his information gathering mission off. But then he would be left with a bit of a personal crisis. “I’m sorry to ask, Eggsy.”

“No, no.” Eggsy sucked in a deep, chest-expanding breath and looked at the wall over Harry’s shoulder. “I get it. It’s weird. It came as a really fucking big surprise. But, uh, there was someone. Up Above. I loved them.”

Harry gasped and Eggsy turned away. 

“At first it was just like we were supposed to love, you know? The way all angels are meant to love each other, but the way we especially did our choir. I mean, I know I loved them a fair bit more than I ought, but I figured it was fine. Some angels, like Chester and them, hardly had a bit of love for me, so I figured some extra for my particular angel wasn’t wrong to have. Then, well, after God made the humans and Lucifer rebelled and the first angels fell, it started to feel different. I couldn’t really identify all the new feelings. I thought something mighta been wrong. But then after one of our training sessions, it happened.”

Eggsy looked at Harry from the corner of his eye. “I got me parts, yeah? And I knew what they were cuz Adam had ‘em too and I knew what he’d do with them and...I kinda realized that the love I felt had changed from that sorta unselfish love Up Above and it turned into the wanting kind Adam and Eve got up to down here. After a lot of freaking out and some asking around, I realized I wasn’t fit to be one of the Knights. I wasn’t fit for Up Above.”

“Eggsy,” Harry murmured, eyes filling with sorrow for the pain his dearest felt. “Is that why you fell?”

They never talked about it - the reason why. Harry couldn’t stand bringing up such a painful thing for the both of them and Eggsy never said a word. 

“Partly,” Eggsy nodded. He laced his fingers together and set them in his lap, hands wringing in a clear sign of nerves. “I already had some problems with management, you remember. I didn’t like the way some of ‘em acted, halos shoved so far up their arses they couldn’t hardly sit. But, uh, this was what made me decide. I couldn’t stay, felt too much like lying and that didn’t sit too well with me. And I couldn’t tell ‘em. I knew they didn’t want me, not the way I wanted them. There wasn’t anything of them left for me. I couldn’t handle being rejected and being looked at like some kinda freak. So I fell.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Eggsy turned his head to level Harry with a tentative look. “That enough to help with whatever’s so important?”

Harry turned over the information. His experience sounded eerily similar and Harry was beginning to suspect just why this had happened to him. But then one of the phrases Eggsy used struck a chord, resonating with painful clarity. The way he said there wasn’t anything of the person he loved left for him. 

“‘Nothing left of you for anything not duty,’” Harry quoted, eyes widening at the realization. He turned his full attention on Eggsy who was now sinking into his seat, eyes shut tight and expression pained. 

“Eggsy,” Harry whispered, low and stunned.

“Figured it out, then?” Eggsy’s eyes opened and he smiled, a brittle thing. It was a nearly exact copy of the last smile Eggsy had given Harry before his fall. And now Harry recognized what was wrong with it. It was heartbroken. “Guess I couldn’t tell that story without giving myself away.”

“You…” Trailing off, Harry swam through the tumult of emotion swelling around him and struggled to form suitable words. He couldn’t respond. He felt as if he couldn’t even breathe. “I was-”

“Yeah,” Eggsy nodded, voice raspy. 

In awe of Eggsy, Harry could think of nothing else to say. Words utterly failed him. And Eggsy looked so resigned, so defeated. Almost exactly like he looked after he nearly flew away from Harry in 1920. 

Harry couldn’t stand it. 

Reaching out, Harry cupped the sculpted line of Eggsy’s jaw and turned his face towards his own. Eggsy’s forehead wrinkled as confusion replaced the dejection in his expression. Harry wanted to smooth it all away. 

Leaning in, Harry pressed a chaste, barely there kiss to his soft lips. Harry sat back and watched Eggsy’s mouth fall open in shock. Unable to resist, Harry used his thumb to lightly brush against Eggsy’s plumper bottom lip. 

“I love you, Eggsy.”

Eggsy whined from deep in his throat and suddenly Harry found himself on his back sprawled out over his sofa while Eggsy straddled his hips and kissed him with all the passion Harry had come to expect from him. His lips were gentle and tender, but insistent and heated. His teeth nipped at Harry’s bottom lip, but then his tongue came out in soothing flickers that were both dirty and sweet. While one of Eggsy’s hands was tightly fisted in the fabric of Harry’s cardigan, the other was exploratory, sliding from Harry’s chest over to his shoulder and up to Harry’s neck where soft, cool fingers settled and stroked in loving little movements. 

Eggsy’s hips rocked and Harry groaned, his own hands roving up and down Eggsy’s sides and over the small of his back. 

Above Harry, Eggsy froze. 

“Harry,” Eggsy muttered against Harry’s lips. “What the fuck is that I’m feeling?”

Harry cleared his throat, more than a little flustered now that attention was brought to the newest addition to his anatomy. “Ah, yes. Well. That’s why I asked about how you got yours.”

“Holy shit.” 

“Eggsy.”

“Seriously,  _ holy shit _ !”

“Eggsy,” Harry sighed, wishing they could get back to the kissing. And grinding. 

“Harry, babes, you don’t get it,” Eggsy continued, moving away in a motion that was the opposite of what Harry wanted. He beamed at Harry, goofy and full of enthusiasm. “You’ve got a cock.”

“Yes, I am aware,” Harry groaned, this time out of frustration rather than pleasure. 

“You still don’t get it,” Eggsy cackled gleefully. “You have a  _ cock _ ! A great big hard one from the feel of things.”

Eggsy’s grin turned crooked, a wicked tilt to that sinful mouth. His eyes flashed and for a moment his pupils were serpentine slits. He lowered himself back down and started to trail lingering kisses to the hollow beneath Harry’s ear, the underside of his jaw, and the line of his throat. He pulled away, but only enough for Harry to feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke.

“Harry, I have been in love with you since before the creation of Adam,” Eggsy whispered, voice husky and rumbling. Harry shivered, his hands gripping Eggsy’s hips in an instinctive need. “I have wanted you since the very beginnings of human history. Do you have any clue about the kinds of things I want you to do to me with that great big hard cock of yours?”

To punctuate his statement, Eggsy circled his hips and Harry choked out a groan, his body arching up towards Eggsy to close the space once more. 

“I-I,” Harry stuttered. “I haven’t exactly had it for very long. I hardly know what to do with the thing.”

Eggsy purred. “Oh, Harry. I’ve been dreaming of this for a very-” his hips rolled, “-very-” he sucked a mark against Harry’s throat, “-very-” his hand traveled down to palm Harry’s aching hardness “-long time. I know exactly what I want to do. I have a fucking list.”

“A list?” Harry asked, voice breathless and full of anticipation. 

“A list,” Eggsy confirmed with a bite to Harry’s collarbone that had the angel crying out. “And we’re gonna go through the whole thing.”

Eggsy pulled back again and Harry was going to start getting snippy if he didn’t stay pressed against him where he belonged, but then Harry caught sight of the radiant smile that now graced Eggsy’s features. He was as divine as he ever was as an angel. 

“First we’re going to see what these babies can do,” Eggsy laughed joyously as he gave Harry’s newly acquainted cock another teasing squeeze. Then he leaned in and rubbed his nose against Harry’s, eyes alight with pure, immutable love. “And after that we’re gonna fucking cuddle.”

A firm kiss was planted on Harry’s lips. 

“C’mon, angel,” Eggsy teased. “Show me what you got.”

Harry smiled back, reverent and adoring with just a hint of the danger that made Harry one of the most feared avenging angels of all. “It would be my pleasure, my dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy's list: a comprehensive enumeration of explicit sex acts in graphic detail. Organized by level of kinky, starting with vanilla and working up towards salacious filth that may or may not be illegal in certain countries  
> Also Eggsy's list: hand holding, stargazing, coffee dates, cuddling on the couch, adopt a dog together, etc.


End file.
